she had to remind herself to find silence in the noise
Lately, it seems that many people keeping blogs have expressed the need to take a break, step back from the busy world of internet connection and find more silence in order to focus more on their creative interior.
I know that I cannot function without lots of silence in my life – I need time when I can sit alone, be quiet and disappear inside the silence. But sometimes I forget that I need that silence, that without solitude I cannot hope to find the creative Clare. I disappears in the noise of living and constantly seeking. I become almost frantic to find the exact answer, the exact purpose of my life.
Rainer Marie Rilke talks about the magnificent solitude working upon us – shifting us as an anonymous influence. Robert Frost the poet says -
They cannot scare me with their empty spaces
Between stars – on stars where no human race is
I have it in me so much nearer home
To scare myself with my own desert places
There have been times in my life where I have been able to live with more space, with solitude finding the moments between time; when I have been happy to have questions unanswered. During those times I have created enough stillness and silence to slow down the compulsion to constantly ask what my purpose in life is. I don’t know why it is important that I have a clearly defined answer, but it feels that if I don’t then maybe I might be missing out on something.
All the space that is there for quietness, contemplation, creativity and quiet observation is taken up, swallowed and forgotten. The idea that space may exist as an unknown necessity in my live is lost with the endless search for purpose. I search endlessly for ideas to spark my creativity and yet I know that the most creative ideas I have always come from the silent moments.
I need to be comfortable not knowing exactly what my purpose is. I must learn to embrace the space, the emptiness, the vast landscape of silence to allow enough room to see the mysteries and the questions that I ask - to find the true creative essence of my being. Somehow I have to let go of the searching, the seeking and to make peace with the unknown, the hidden, and find contentment in this precious space between moments.
Note to self - you need to sit more in your meditation chair!