more than one voice

Thursday, June 16, 2011

remember silence

she had to remind herself to find silence in the noise


Lately, it seems that many people keeping blogs have expressed the need to take a break, step back from the busy world of internet connection and find more silence in order to focus more on their creative interior.

I know that I cannot function without lots of silence in my life – I need time when I can sit alone, be quiet and disappear inside the silence. But sometimes I forget that I need that silence, that without solitude I cannot hope to find the creative Clare. I disappears in the noise of living and constantly seeking. I become almost frantic to find the exact answer, the exact purpose of my life.

Rainer Marie Rilke talks about the magnificent solitude working upon us – shifting us as an anonymous influence. Robert Frost the poet says -
They cannot scare me with their empty spaces
Between stars – on stars where no human race is
I have it in me so much nearer home
To scare myself with my own desert places

There have been times in my life where I have been able to live with more space, with solitude finding the moments between time; when I have been happy to have questions unanswered. During those times I have created enough stillness and silence to slow down the compulsion to constantly ask what my purpose in life is. I don’t know why it is important that I have a clearly defined answer, but it feels that if I don’t then maybe I might be missing out on something.

All the space that is there for quietness, contemplation, creativity and quiet observation is taken up, swallowed and forgotten. The idea that space may exist as an unknown necessity in my live is lost with the endless search for purpose.  I search endlessly for ideas to spark my creativity and yet I know that the most creative ideas I have always come from the silent moments.

I need to be comfortable not knowing exactly what my purpose is.  I must learn to embrace the space, the emptiness, the vast landscape of silence to allow enough room to see the mysteries and the questions that I ask - to find the true creative essence of my being. Somehow I have to let go of the searching, the seeking and to make peace with the unknown, the hidden, and find contentment in this precious space between moments.


Note to self - you need to sit more in your meditation chair!

7 comments:

  1. I think, even with the joy my blog and FB brings, that we are put in a pressure cooker of constant connection to everyone and everything.
    I am not afraid to step back and rethink, refocus....see what needs adjusting in *me* before moving on to resume my contacts through social media.
    I often wonder if this lack of barrier and intimacy leads to meaner people, creative blandness, a propensity to just throw something out for the sake of doing it.....
    Maybe all the Blogger issues were the Universe trying to have us learn a lesson! ;-)

    XXOO~~
    Anne

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  2. Dear Clare, I am not such a deep thinker and searcher like you and I do not ask so many questions. I tend to take things as they are, dealing with them as they come along, juggling at times, quietening down others. I know when to cry and release pressure, I enjoy company and I rejoice in silence and being just with myself.
    I am German by birth and I love Rilke and can read him in his language, he also says this, which suits me more:
    "Du musst das Leben nicht verstehen,
    dann wird es werden wie ein Fest,
    und lass dir jeden Tag geschehen,
    so wie ein Kind im Weitergehen,
    von jedem Wehen Blüten schenken lässt."

    I try to translate:
    "You don't have to understand the life
    then it will be like a festival
    let every day be to you
    like a child in passing
    being presented with blooms by the winds."

    About the blogger world - yes there are so many people out there and it can be overwhelming, but I find that very quick I can decide about quality and decency, and what suits me - whom I like or even love or from whom I better stay away. I made wonderful friends through blogging, I would miss them now if I not had them - you are one of them. I appreciate your thoughtful posts very much, you are different from me in a way that pulls me towards your words like a magnet, I like to listen to you and hear what you have to say.
    And I love your art.

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  3. You look beautiful and so happy in your meditating chair! Love where you palced your pretty lady also!

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  4. Yes, it seems that Blogging, which used to be done in my "free" time now takes up most of all my time!

    I love it, though! It challenges me to time manage and make definitive decisions on how to most wisely spend it!

    I do love spending some here :)

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  5. It's fantastic that you even own a meditation chair!
    your 'girl' looks great outside!!

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  6. Great post, you and I are existing on the same wavelength this week. I'm feeling the same need for peace and quiet.

    I tend to be curious about many things that I end up overwhelming myself with projects. Then I flip the other way and want to chuck it all and be quiet and still.

    I also find that now that it's warm outside here, I want to be outside and not on my computer or inside painting.

    I am a quiet person and a loner,by nature. It's funny though when I'm painting I love being in a group atmosphere. I love classes and the energy of others creating. I can also be perfectly content to paint alone and just flow quietly.

    I used to constantly question my purpose in life. As I get older I find it enough for me to be here just for the experience of living and mostly to love others.

    Your latest girl is wonderful and I love how the light hits the canvas in your photo.

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  7. Clare, I can identify wholeheartedly! A most excellent post! Jessi xox

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