more than one voice

Monday, September 19, 2011

I care what people think

on mondays i'm not going to mind what i wear - she said with gleeful abandon

A few weeks ago, I took the wrong t-shirt to gym.  I only realised when all the fatty bits popped out, spilling over like white bread dough.  I sat on the exercise bike and laughed with my fellow gym ladies about the perils of wearing tight t-shirts. We came to the conclusion that although we wished we didn’t - we actual did care what people thought of us when we walk out into the world.

This bothered me for awhile, but I think I know what we meant that day.  We had arrived at an age or an understanding when we could be honest with ourselves. Part of that honesty was admitting in front of others, that yes we did care what people thought, that we didn’t want people to think we looked weird or funny.  I’m not sure I could have been that honest as a young girl.  I don’t think I could have admitted that I cared what others thought.   So, perhaps in that honesty there was a certain amount of freedom, a certain fitting into my skin a little better, I was able to be comfortable with this aspect of myself, to publicly acknowledge the inside insecurities, to let them all hang out.  Yes, it felt good to be honest – sometimes I do care what people think!



  1. i love the caption on your beautiful illustration, Clare :)

    Your story made me laugh; i think it’s normal to care about what people think; yet i am pretty sure that people don’t care so much about our “imperfect” bits quite simply because most of us have them in one way or another!
    xo sandra

  2. Her eyes tell it all. We all look out of the corner of our eyes to see who may be judging us. Wonderful picture to go with your story.

  3. Sadly, the occurrence of shirts that once looked fine now being the "wrong" shirt is ever increasing...I completely understand the self consciousness. I have always cared what people think of me. What I'm admitting to myself now, at this that I don't need to care soooo much anymore. Other people's opinions don't change the person I am.

    I think I'm finally more comfortable with that person :D

    Thank you for this funny little story...and the insight that followed :)

  4. It is so true. It is good to be honest with ourselves. I hate wearing tight tshirts now a days, it definitely shows everything, all my jiggily bits! YIKES!
    Hugs and blessings.

  5. Oh what about sharing these sentences into your art! Your girl is so beautiful! So cool you opened up this way, thank you for sharing so much, so beautiful to read!
    Hugs :)

  6. Love your girl art, great color!...and your honesty.

  7. I am weary of worrying about what people think of me. I just do the best I can and try to look my best when I go out. I know I miss the mark sometimes because most of my clothes are a bit small on me now but oh well... There are those who will always judge but it's just to try and make themselves feel better. I figure it's their problem if they've got nothing better to do.

    Now, on a monday I just don't go out and can be seen watering my yard with no make-up on and in the rattiest paint splattered lounge clothes I can find - lol! The neighbors really get an eyeful!

    This is why your Monday Girlie is extra special to me! Love her!

  8. Lol let it just all hang out girl you are amongst friends here and I could not think less of you as I have lots of bits all over the place too. I know what you mean though I think we care maybe a little less when we age and we learn to just say things. Dont you then just find out that others feel like that too. Love the girl above your post!

  9. We're supposed to pretend we don't care and I do tend to turn a blind eye to my ever increasing size! I know I'm not obese but I used to go to the gym regularly and run too just a year or two ago. I need to exercise more (and eat less!) Thanks for your comment on my blog about children growing up, it all flies by so quickly doesn't it?
    Jess xx

  10. Oh, the nightmare of tight tops at the gym... Haha, I think we've all been there, Clare!

    I love your lovely angel, I'll bet she's honest with herself too. :))

  11. Well, maybe its not as much as caring what people think as wanting to present your best self to the world? Although technically it doesnt matter, I do feel better and more confident when I'm dressed nice and put together when I'm out and about. Its less to do with others then myself though. But I do understand wearing the wrong thing to workout, lol. I had an 'unfortunately sheer black pants' issue at pilates once ;)

  12. I love your work!..."sometimes" is a key word. I too, sometimes care what people think. Though I lean more on the not care so much side. The white shirt would not have bothered me. Heck, I go out into the world with paint all over me, dirt under my nails from gardening, etc. Not all the time do I look like a homey gal, but sometimes, like when I'm super busy and don't have a moment to clean up. This is usually when I'm making a trip to the post office to mail a package. :)

  13. Hi Clare my blog is acting up so have opened a new one Hope you'll follow me there, love to see you! Hugs! Julie

  14. Clare, there is something so beautiful here, and I know its you and every lovely person who shares with us! Just awesomely loving!
    :) Loads of love to you!

  15. Wow! What an honest post...I continue to struggle with this... For instance, I've been wanting to wear ONE feathered earring lately...not two. Yesterday, I almost removed it because I was afraid of what others would think... In the end, I said to hell with it...I'm wearing it, and I did. One small victory. At a time.

    Way to go brave girl. Way to win one for the team. In the end, we all want the same thing. Acceptance. Thank-you for reminding me how important it is to accept thyself first. xo

  16. One more thing...thank-you for your continuous support and blog love. I too wish that we could sit-face to face and share what's in our hearts. Just maybe someday we'll have that opportunity. In the meantime, believe that your words and your honesty resonate with so many of us. Keep turning over those stones...your creative journey is a beautiful one. xo

  17. My dear Friend, This is a lovely post, one I will read again. :) I am smiling as I write this, as one of the things about getting older for me is realizing how much I care about the fact that I don't look so sexy any more. LOL This does make me smile because I thought I would get here and not really care, and yet I do. I really love it that life is full of complicated emotions that require sorting out from time to time. Thanks for a fabo post. Love to you, Robin

  18. I love your pictures.
    This thing about weight is strange isn't it.I always say that it's about me as a person not my shape.But I have lost half a stone(could do with losing another half!)and I do feel better.No one has noticed or said anything so perhaps they are looking at the person and not the shape.

  19. A very wise and sweet post. It is an important step to admit that you do care, yet it also frees you to be more comfortable with yourself. As I get older, I've noticed that aging does have some advantages, after all.


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