more than one voice

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

missing out

I was having a conversation with a special friend the other day, discussing all our dreams and things we would love to do.  We asked ourselves the big question, what keeps us from achieving our dreams?

I was thinking about our conversation later that day and I released that it was fear, no big ah ha moment there.  But what the big wow turned out to be – was when I identified that part of my fear included - fear of missing out.

What I mean by this is that I’m often so busy searching for the right dream.  I’m scared that if I settle for just one dream that I might miss out on a better dream. I become frantic; I switch and change my mind, shift gears, begin things and don’t finish them, one big dream after another. The problem is that I’m so focused on not missing out that I actual don’t ever really just do, I don’t fully engage with any one thing.  It's not surprising that I don’t ever achieve my dreams and goals, because I have so many and I change them all the time, in my manic attempt not to miss out on anything.

I guess I need to start by appreciating all the good stuff I have, to live more in the present and stop jumping into hundreds of alternative realities. I need to make a reasonable list of goals and dreams, and start sticking to things, get a bit of glue on my soul.

I’m just really relieved that I didn’t carry this particular fear into my marriage!

Col - busy working on fittings for the shop

it's been extremely hot today - so I thought I would send all my friends in the northern hempishere some summer flowers


  1. Hi Clare, (baie dankie) Thanks for your comment on my Pippi blogpost :) I love your blog and the ramblings and the paintings you do. I love your girls ♥ eventhough I read that you think they are too rigid ??? Also I am curious what your shop is going to be......Btw. How did you ever find me at the Pippi blog ? I have another that I keep more up-to-date if you wnat to come over an visit ? I don't write so much though, just little messages with my art work
    Have a great day and glad I found your blog like this, I'll be following from now on ♥

  2. When I was in elementary school and high school, I was really into art. I made collages and did a lot of drawing and just explored so, so much. Since then, I've thrown all my effort into being a published novelist, and it sort of makes me sad that I can't put that same dedication to my writing on something else - like art. I had an idea for an art project that I thought would sell well (and was also tied into writing), but I didn't really pursue it because I don't have the time. But your blog post made me think about how I do the same thing - scared I'm going to miss out. Only what I've done is sort of the opposite - I've dedicated myself to ONE art form right now - writing - and in so doing, have perhaps lost a part of myself. I'm not sure what to do about it, but I do have some ideas for some mixed media pieces I'd like to try. Then again, there's that time thing...

  3. I do know what you mean by chopping and changing paths and ideas and ending up at the start and not moving forward... I suppose we all have our fears and foibles and if you read my last post I am afraid of commitment... so there, none of us are perfect! (thank goodness!!!) love those girls you paint...!

  4. For those of us who like to put our eggs in many baskets, it's best to chase the dreams and be okay with ourselves when we find new long as commitment to family and those true friends we find stay solid...there is nothing wrong with chasing a new dream if comes along. If we give ourselves this freedom, we never feel like we are missing out. : )

  5. Oh Clare, you are such a lovely dear and charming woman!! How I love to read your thoughts - it is always exciting and a pleasure to open a new post you wrote!

    Don't search, don't chase, let the dreams just come - and then choose the one you like best to make true - and enjoy dreaming the others! :-)

    Here is a hug for you! Have a lovely day!

  6. Love your art Clare, gorgeous! You go girl with all this positive future and goals! I know you can do it! :)

  7. Thankyou for the pretty flowers Clare! :o) I think fear of not only failing, but fear of achieving dreams can play a part too. I think it's ok to keep changing your mind because the most important ones will stay no matter what.
    Jess x x

  8. Wow. It was like you were seeing into my soul and diagnosing the problem. I struggled like this for years (and still do). I've chosen to pursue the artsy part of my dream right now but it took forever to get there and I still have that "missing out" wave of fear from time to time.
    My Blog

  9. Little did I know that all these days passing, while I was waiting for something else, was life itself......

    This quote came to my mind after reading your post, Clare. I'm not unfamiliar to the situation you so well describes,but I've become more aware that right here and right now is the only time I own for sure. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow does not excist....yet.
    I really wish for you that you will find the process of choosing easier as time goes by.

  10. Thanks so much for sharing your fears and your dreams. i completely understand about not wanting to miss out on possible dreams, I find myself doing the same thing sometimes. But I feel your on the right track, just take a moment and write all your goals down so that you will have a more visible road map. You can achieve all your dreams if you will just organize them. It worked for me!!
    Your doing great by the way, love the paintings, so sweet!!1


  11. Clare, i can so relate to this. I think it's better to have too many dreams than not enough. And hey - if one of your dreams happens to be "to live each day as creatively as you can"... you certainly seem to be achieving that one.

    You go girl. xoxo

  12. Thanks for the blog visit. I know what you are speaking of, fear holds me back all of the time. I decided to just embrace what I need to do today. I need to leave tomorrow, next month, next year out of the equation, and look at today! (then I can move a little tiny step)

  13. Have I told you how much I enjoy coming here? Your words always inspire me to do a bit of soul searching and question asking....
    You help me not settle on what is....but on what it can be :)

    I hope they do the same for you!

  14. Clare dear, it's like you have put up a large mirror for all of us to look at and what do we see? Probably a similar looking image, considering this is one issue I think most of us can relate to. Thank you for sharing your thoughts for me to ponder on and showing one of your lovely ladies as always... :)

  15. Apparently, there are many of us with the same fear. I do the same thing. I loved what you said about getting a bit of glue on your soul...I love that idea.

    And the art that went along with your thoughts is just beautiful.

  16. such wonderful realizations you are having. I tend to do all sorts of things too and not always follow through to the end of a vision. Sometimes I just think that is who i am and that is fine. Enjoy the journey. But at this time in life I do not take on new interests.... I stick with three, my photography, poetry and art. No sewing, no knitting etc. I like this, it gives me plenty to explore but I find myself accomplishing things. So lovely to see your art and to take to heart your story. Lovely weekend to you.

  17. I can really indentify with you on this post! I had just come to this realization as well and know I must plan better, commit and stick with my projects and dreams until they are realized. You always seem to blog my thoughts so beautifully - lol! Beautiful, beautiful artwork as well!!!
    Jessi xox

  18. agree with our thought. Wonderful art!!

  19. Hi Calre thanks for stopping by Up and Away Studios for a visit.I to sometimes find myself with so many interests and doing different things.Although I do manage to finish them at some point later lol..

    I think it's just the creative inside of us to want to explore different mediums.I say let yourself go try it do it all.Just don't allow yourself to feel guilty.It's this exploration I think that allows us to find our true selves and which creative outlet really speaks to us because we will in the end keep going back to it.

    Lovely ladies and I enjoyed your words.

  20. thanks for the sharing

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