more than one voice

Friday, April 29, 2011

calling myself artist

 above all else she had to create, and she said - yes

When i was struggling to find the courage to begin calling myself artist - someone read the following extracts to me from 'Letters to a young poet' - by Rainer Maria Rilke.

'You ask if your verses are good.  You ask me.'
'You have asked others'
'Nobody can advise and help you, nobody, There is only one single means.  Go inside yourself. Discover the motive that bids you write; examine whether it sends its roots down to the deepest places of your heart, confess to yourself whether you would have to die if writing were denied you.  This before all: ask yourself in the quietest hour of your night: must I write? Dig down into yourself for a deep answer.  And if this should be in the affirmative, if you may meet this solemn question with a strong and simple 'I must', then build your life according to this necessity; your life must, right to its most unimportant and insignificant hour, become a token and a witness of this impulse.'

i had a dream - one night while i was grappling with the word artist.  the theme was familiar, 'houses' - except this time i was given the blueprints for the house and told to build it, as i wished.  no scary rooms, dark attics or sinister basements this time.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

finding my voices

she knew the answer was simple but it was just proving hard too find

It's not easy to find your creative voice or voices.  I've been struggling to develop a look for my art. I have a seed of an idea of what i want my work to look like and how i would like it to feel.  I have a gut feeling of what i want my art to say. It's hard work. Slowly i'm beginning to develop a plan, it's seeping out of my heart and mind. I understand that if i want a successful art business (again) that i have to have a business plan as much as a heart plan. 

she woke from a dream with the words - try again - and understood that it took many tries to get it right and that it was okay if she didn't get it perfect.  after all it was art that she was making

sometimes when i'm in my studio i get the unnerving feeling that i'm being watched

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

holding a little secret in my heart

she said, always hold a little secret in your heart

She thought for awhile and then said out aloud - we are too busy rushing around we forget to appreciate the gift of creating.  Then she remembered times when the joy of creating took over her life and she was lost in a dream.

She began to ask some questions - she knew that questions were far more important than answers.  Who am i, she asked and why is it important that i create?  Then she asked a really big question - how can i embrace my creative being, to make it not just who i am but what i do everyday.  She understood that the answers would take time to come to her, but she was fine with that. 

And so she decided to begin the adventure.

even though she had decided to begin the journey, she was feeling unsure of herself.  she took a deep breathe and said to herself, 'the death of fear is doing what you fear'