more than one voice

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

the child in me



I've been doing quiet a bit of thinking about how to create a 'creative business', a business that is more than just my pictures but that emcompasses all my talents and experiences gathered over the years.  I've made a fairly good start this year, all the art products I've made have been selling like hot cakes. Boy, and do I get a kick out of selling my stuff.  It always makes me want to giggle when I sell one of my pictures, I have no idea why it's so funny, but there you are - as my kids say, 'mom you're weird'.

As a way to try and figure it all out, I've been doing a bit of journalling and have been suprised at what has surfaced.  I've been allowing the writing to take over, to tell the story and to allow the unconscious to speak.  What has been amazing in this process, is how different images have surfaced as I write. 

The other day I had this very distinct image of myself as a child.  I was excited about all the possiblities of things that I wanted to make. I can remember paging through a 1970s child's craft book and marking off all the projects I wanted to try.  I could feel the excitment as I was writing this all down, I could feel it in my body like it was yesterday. 

Then the feeling changed, suddenly all the excitement was replaced with a sense of guilt and shame.  I was puzzled by this change in emotion and pace, where did this come from.  I'm not sure I will ever get the answer, it could have been going to school and comparing myself to others, or it could have been an unkind word spoken by a teacher, I really don't know.  What I do know is that somewhere, somehow I believed that being creative wasn't the thing to do and I stuffed down the urge to be creative - I tried to snuff it out and spent many years angry with myself and the world. 

Many many years later, I sit here and have come full circle - I know that I have to create, that I am a creative being and that it is absolutely the right thing for me to do. Phew - what a relief.

From that child inside me I make this plea -

Please -  let us remember that when a child shows a creative spark that we must encourage it, never put it down or dismiss it, it could just be what saves that child

8 comments:

  1. Hi Clare, how nice to see you back again! Yor're so right about encouraging children with their expressions wether it be drawing, painting, telling storys or whatever they are doing. With that said I think we and the children are our own largest judges. For children at least when they reach a sudden age. This is what I hope to avoid when I am creative together with Sandra.
    I can fully understand that you want to laugh when selling your own art. High spirits and lots of inspiration. I'm sure you're doing well and what a thrill to follow ones dreams.
    When you become famous I'll proudly point at your photo in the paper telling that I've "spoken" with you for awhile. :-))

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  2. Clare, you are so beautiful! Your heart is pure like a child and shines so huge in you and your art! Much love to you!

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  3. I'm am thrilled for you that your work has been selling!! I know that giggly feeling you are talking about. I get it,too....I love that feeling...that giddiness that just makes your lips burst into a smile because you just can't contain it! What a great feeling :D

    ...and it is a brave thing to let the subconscious have control for a while...the things you are learning seem to be lifting you up to the Life you knew you were meant for! That is such an amazing place to be. I am so happy you have found that for yourself!

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  4. Oh Clare, I've missed you!! ((Hugs)) So happy to hear how well your artwork is selling! I love how journaling made you aware of the change in your emotions. I know that feeling of catching myself switching like that and asking questions to see what I'm thinking. Many times I find it's something I started believing in childhood set off by one moment, that's completely untrue. It's such freedom to start seeing it in a true light.
    Catherine Denton

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  5. I am always sadly amazed that art teachers have no guilt about squashing a child's creative side; I think it was in the book "Art and Fear" that they discussed it~~coming from the fact that they were stifled creatives, teaching, but not MAKING art....and the students bore the brunt of it.
    Which does not excuse them AT ALL.
    I had two in high school--polar opposites of each other. One that treated what I did as ho-hum, and the other who rode me like a stubborn donkey, making me do my best.
    And I loved him for it! (most of the time~~he really knew how to get to me and make me WORK!)
    I am delighted to see you being the great creative soul you are.
    Don't let anyone dim that light!

    XXOO~~
    Anne

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  6. Hi Clare - I missed you! :-)
    When I was maybe ten I wrote an essay - I don't remember the theme, it was given by the teacher in class. I was so very proud of what I had written, I worked very hard on it and thought it was wonderful, I was content I did a good job, I was proud of myself. I got it back with a rude remark by the teacher, she was completely ignoring my effort - she killed my spirit on the spot!!! It took me a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time to get over it!!!

    So teachers and parents - think before you speak, build up and do not tear down! Creativity should be considered to be sacred!

    Love your art Clare - thank you for giving us your presents! Your paintings, your words...
    Thank you Clare

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  7. I hope you are able to come up with a wonderful way to combine your creativity and your talent into a business that suits you perfectly. :) I would love to be able to do that, too, instead of worrying about the 8-5 job. Guess I'm still working on it. :)

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  8. I know that feeling Clare. I'm not sure where the guilt comes from for me, maybe being constantly told that art is playing and not a serious career? Maybe it's because it doesn't make much money compared to other jobs?
    I get very excited when I sell things too!
    Jess xx

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