more than one voice

Thursday, May 3, 2012

past hurts

she thought for a long time about how to be happy - but decided
that maybe she was happy already


Isn’t it amazing that just when you think you have dealt with an issue in your life then wham it seems to rear its head and wag its finger in your face?

This year was turned out to be difficult.  It has been a busy year, filled with too many things to do and not enough time.  Somewhere in the hazy of rushing around, I’ve patted myself on the back for over coming many of the issues that have hampered me and held me back most of my life.  These issues are the usual ones, self esteem, family relationship issues etc.  I’ve done the work and slowly put things into perspective, become more aware, learnt to put distant between myself and the issues and believed that I had moved on.

Then things happen, and you are right back where you started, or are you?  I’m not sure.  I was distressed about this but then released that I have changed, sometimes the old hurts do come back but mostly it is because others are still where they have always been.  Yes, the same old stuff can hurt but somehow I seem to have more resilience, more grit maybe even more maturity – I hope.  It is easier to pick myself up, shack off the dust and begin again.  I guess the old hurts will always hurt but maybe just not in the same way.

11 comments:

  1. The old wounds sometimes never heal they just get scabbed over and then when some event rubs away the scab it's like the wound is fresh again. Yes...they will always hurt and YES not always in the same way. Big hugs! Love your header and your work - so beautiful ♥

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  2. What a timely post~~been through a similar thing today that really was unnecessary, could have been handled easily, but life isn't a one way street. (meaning, the other party really needs to acknowledge the part they play)
    Sometimes the past, and the people it contains, needs to stay there....
    My days are full w/o drama.
    Real life has provided enough of that.
    Here's to art, and better days!

    XXOO~~
    Anne

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  3. I'ts definately how you deal with those hurts that makes you less or more reactive to things surfacing again. They will always be there, and its so unfortunate we cant control other people's responses. The only thing we have power over is ourselves. And thats a good thing.

    I hope you will be okay, in all this busy life and you have time to have some slow to balance it out.

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  4. I JUST now read this quote:
    "someday everything will make perfect sense.
    so, for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding youself that everything happens for a reason"

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  5. LOvely paintings Clare. :)
    It's been an amazingly busy year for you! It's difficult to know anything when your life is in a spin isn't it? I hope you get time to slow down and to have a chance to catch up with yourself (if you know what I mean!)
    Have a lovely weekend! :)
    Jess xx

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  6. Oh my sweet Clare, don't sell yourself short, you have come a long way baby!! I think past hurts are there to help us deal with the present world we live in, it teaches us, it's just a reminder of how far we have come. The old saying "learn from your mistakes" stands true for "learning from your hurt", it will make you a wiser and more gentle person. I love your painting as always she is lovely, just like you!!
    Thanks for dropping by my blog I always enjoy hearing from you!!
    x0x0x
    Debbie

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  7. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh yes!!! Past experiences often still hurt, but actually less and less, over the years, at least in my opinion. Nietzsche said "what does not kill you makes you stronger", it might be true, even so not everything makes perfect sense. We are all building sediments in our souls, in Hebrew they are called "mishka'im" - (I once made a wall hanging with this title, so you see I had obviously also issues with it!), and yes, they will stay forever. But already time makes them less painful and of course our ability to deal with them. As we get older our understanding of others and ourselves grows, we might be more forgiving, or just get another outlook of things - or we might just realize "that was, what was" and go on with our lives, digging into our own strength, let it be, and loving the person we are! Dear Clare you have soooooo many reasons to love and cherish yourself!!!!! :-)

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  8. your piece is so sweet and i love the background. and you are so doggone special clare. i agree with you when you look into yourself and fix and repair and try to forgive, moving on. some hurts do repeat themselves, but if you didn't look at them for what they are, you'd never make headway. and it sounds to me that ya' gotta' lot of grit and love to boot! xo

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  9. This is a lovely work Clare. I think as we get older the scars get smaller and we also pick and chose our battles more wisely because it dawns on us that we have less time to waste on the bad stuff.

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  10. Hi Clare, old issues are troublesome. It has helped me alot to figure out why the things repeat themselves. I had to distance myself from it all and find my own secure ground to stand on. After that I see it all in a different way, and it doesen't affect me that hard any more.
    I always try to act in a way that make me able to meet my mirrorimage and wanting to give myself a warm smile.
    I hope you'll find your own secure ground to stand on soon.

    Your painting looks great too.
    Hugs!

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  11. The old hurts remain and periodically return to bite us. I just try to remember that I have moved forward, even if others can't or won't. I can't change what happened in the past but I can change my reaction to it and not let it eat at me or cause me stress now and in the future. Note that its taken me 40+ yrs to figure this out. :)

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